I have failed my city...

So three of the nine Arrow exercises are failure reps. Failure triceps push ups, failure shoulder touches, and failure pull ups. Tonight at failed after six push ups, 23 shoulder touches, and zero pull ups. Still haven't found a pull up bar around the house. And I refuse to spend money on it. Maybe I'll just slap water in a bowl. Or build a salmon ladder.

Other than that, still working on the routine. Alphabetical just isn't working for me. And neither is Flash, Batman, Arrow, to Aquaman. Tomorrow I try Arrow -> Batman -> Aquaman -> Flash (or Flash -> Aquaman). But Arrow is definitely first, those ones are tough!

No one needs to tell me...

...I already know. I'm not fat. I never have been. Getting skinny is not my motivation.

But this guy right here,

I don't like him. He's not healthy, the weight he desperately tried to put on wasn't the good kind. 

I've always had issues with my self image. Sure, for a long time I was sucked in like a tweaker. That wasn't good for my self image either. And after starting out at about 85 pounds 155 pounds is much better. So the goal is good bye food baby, so long flabby arms, and hello someone who might be around a few more years. Looking forward to the end of June for the look back and the next few weeks of getting less sore each night.

Don't be sad that it's over, be happy that it happened.

It's really over. Warehouse is done. I didn't watch it with dry eyes. It was a really good goodbye. Maybe the characters reminded me a little too much of some of my closest friends. Maybe one them reminded me a little to much of me.
But it was thought provoking in my brain. My own little world of my own. What's my defining moment? We all have, or will have, it. And then it hit me. I can't have a moment. My moment is always happening. I like it that way.

Yeah, I'm actually a happy guy

Why is when it I'm feeling good, I have nothing to say? I'm really not as depressed as I seem.

Just though the few people who read this should know.

Need vs Want

Do I need people? Nope. Do I want people? Yes. But the people I want, I need them to want me back.

I don't feel wanted. I'm told it's my fault. I slammed the door.

I don't feel wanted. I feel like it's my fault. I don't know what I did.

Which is worse? Never being wanted or feeling wanted and feeling it slip away?

It's been a rough week to say the least. Note to self, don't sit in a dark house for 8 hours. It gets tough to bounce back from. It gets tough playing normal in front of the kids. It eventually leads to restaining the grout after mopping the floor 3 times.

Player 2, ready?

I totally didn't start dating this girl at the most opportune time in our lives. She's got complications. I've got complications. I find myself jealous of a lot of people.

Then this picture shows up on my news feed and I realize, I've got a player 2. Who enjoys my madness and will jump in on some Co op with me. I totally just leveled up.

All around not cool

Broke my glasses. No mother to spoil. Or call my own. Back has been sore for months and is causing sleeplessness. Dealing with insecurity issues.

Yeah, I'm a little grumpy today. Pretty sure I just figured out why.

Time to go buy smokes and sprinkle happiness.

May Day May Day May Day

Eating healthy was a success. Sleep schedule was a semi success. It seems I can always get up between 6 & 7, with and without an alarm. Getting to sleep the night before not always so easy.

Going to choose my 4 weeks of super hero workouts this weekend and anxiously awaiting my happiness packet to come in the mail.

In the meantime, I had fun putting a smile on someone's face. Really glad I found her.